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From man to man

You don't know your partner's HIV status?

two things to remember  

- no fucking without condom, no cum in your mouth

Problems with the condoms?

What to do if it wasn't safe?

Why check things out?

Gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis, chlamydia

When you have sex with several men

Fucking without condoms?

False sense of security

  Ask about the HIV status

  -  Making tacit assumptions

  -  Picking the healthy-looking ones

  -  Pulling out: Not coming inside

  -  Only topping

HIV positive but not contagious?

What else?



  Heathy gay sex - the roules of helthy man 2 man sex     Good gay sex - the roules men into men    Safer gay sex - play hard, play safe


From man to man     

Are you a guy who has sex with other guys?

For some time now, more men are contracting HIV and other sexually-transmitted infections while having sex with other men. Even younger guys! The risk of contracting HIV is ten times higher during sex between men than it is in sex between a man and a woman.

This brochure shows you how to play safe. No matter what the situation.



Instant gratification?

Anonymous sex and instant gratification? Sometimes there is no need for words. So each partner has to know how to protect himself. Take responsibility for yourself.

Time and again

Having sex with guys you have known for a long time? Trust can sometimes be misplaced, and assumptions can be wrong. Even if a past HIV test turned out to be negative, that doesn't mean it is still true today. Talk to your partners about how to protect yourselves.

For ever and ever

Met the love of your life? Being in love can make talking about unpleasant stuff or safer sex a little more difficult. Get some support – you could go to Checkpoint.

In a long-term relationship? Happiness and security depend on the expectations you had and keeping promises you once made. Do they still hold? Talk about it. And keep talking.



You don't know your partner's HIV status?

Safer sex is your best protection!

two things to remember

==>  Always use a condom for fucking

==>  No cum in the mouth when sucking

This is true for anonymous sex, for fuck buddies or for sex with your husband-to-be.

==>  Pick a condom that's the right size. That way, it won't break or slip off. You can check your size on www.mysize.ch.

==>  Only use water- or silicon-based lube. Don't use oil, Vaseline etc. as these will damage the condom.

==>  If you do get sperm in your mouth then spit it right out! If possible, rinse your mouth with a strong liquor like whiskey or cognac or just plain water and spit that out, too.



Problems with condoms?

==> You can't get hard or you lose your hard-on when you put on a condom?

==> Your partner doesn't want to use a condom?

You aren't the only one with these problems.

Go talk about it at Checkpoint or one of the local AIDS-service organizations.



What to do if it wasn't safe?

You can reduce the chances of HIV infection by using emergency treatment (PEP or post-exposure prophylaxis) within the first 72 hours after a risky encounter – i.e. fucking without a condom or a condom broke during fucking.

==> Get advice straightaway from a Checkpoint or one of the local AIDS-service organizations 

==> The quicker you seek treatment, the lower the risk of infection.

          ==>  PEP therapy is not a substitute for safer sex!


Flu or primo-infection?

==> You had a risky encounter but didn't follow-up with a PEP consultation?

==> In the weeks after you had flu-like symptoms (fever, headaches, swollen glands, skin rash, muscle aches, diarrhea, nausea etc.)?

These could be signs of a primo-infection with HIV!

Go straight to Checkpoint or to a HIV testing facility and get it checked out 



Why check things out?

==> It settles your fears and uncertainties. You can act better knowing the facts.

==> If you aren't infected then your in luck! Next time, play safe and save yourself all this stress.

==> If you've been infected with HIV, then you can promptly start a course of treatment. Starting earlier minimizes the risk of damage to the immune system.

==> If your in the early stages of infection, then your highly contagious. Protect your sex partners and make sure you always practice safer sex.



Gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis, chlamydia

In addition to HIV, there are other viruses, bacteria and fungi that can be transmitted during sex – sometimes even when you practice safer sex. Some of them are quite nasty and can increase the risk of HIV infection.

The most common infections are gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis, chlamydia, herpes and genital warts.

The majority of these sexually transmitted infections (STI) are easy to treat – if they are detected early enough.


How to detect uninvited guests

==> Discharge from the penis or the anus

==> Burning sensation when peeing, itchiness around the urethra

==> Dull pain in anus

==> Pain or swelling in your balls

==> Lesions, blistering, rashes, redness on the penis, testicles, anus or in the mouth

==> Rashes


What to do with uninvited guests?

==> Get it checked out at Checkpoint, at your doctor's or at a dermatology clinic.

==> If you do have a sexually transmitted infection, then tell your sexual partners so that they can get tested and treated, too.




When you have sex with several men

…then we recommend that you:

==> Get vaccinated for hepatitis A and B.

==> Get checked out for sexually transmitted infections at least once every six months.

==> You can do this at Checkpoint, or you could find a doctor with whom you can talk openly about your sex life.

==> If you are HIV positive, then make sure you get tested for sexually transmitted infections during your regular check ups!



Fucking without condoms?

Fucking without condoms is possible with a long-term relationship. This is how it works:

1. Go to Checkpoint for a joint test and counseling.

2. For 3 months, have safer sex every time.

3. At the end of 3 months have another joint test with your partner.

4. If you are both HIV negative, then make a clear agreement: either we don't have sex with other men, or we only have safer sex with other men.

5. If one of you breaks the agreement, then he should tell the other immediately. Determine in advance how you want to do this. Revert to having safer sex until you have both been tested to rule out an infection.


How safe is this method?

It is extremely safe if both parties can uphold the agreement.

==> If you both decide to only have sex with each other, then it is doubly difficult to tell your partner that you had unprotected sex with another person: unfaithful and unsafe!

==> Talk about the worst-case scenario before it happens, and decide how you will tell each other. This way, should it be necessary, you can tell each other right away.


Fucking with several men without using condoms?

Is it possible to reach such agreements with several partners and have joint tests with all of them in order to have unprotected sex without worrying about it?

In theory, yes. However, many men are infected after having unprotected sex with casual partners who they knew.




False sense of security

Lots of men try to avoid HIV while fucking without a condom – even if they don't know their partner's HIV status.

The most popular assumptions – and whether they work – are presented on the following pages.


Ask about the HIV status

It is important to talk about HIV with your regular sex partners. However, asking questions of new or casual sex partners don't necessarily get you the right answers, because:

==> Many men with HIV don't know that they are infected.

==> Many HIV-positive men don't tell their casual sex partners that they are infected, for obvious reasons. Even if you ask them.


Making tacit assumptions

Tacit assumptions about a sexual partner's HIV status does not protect you. For example:

You are HIV negative and you think: if he were HIV positive, then he would protect me from infection. But he doesn't – so he must be HIV negative like me.

You are HIV positive and you think: if he were HIV negative, then he would protect himself from infection. But he doesn't – so he must be HIV positive like me.

Perhaps both of you are wrong and are therefore taking unnecessary risks!


Picking the healthy-looking ones

HIV infection isn't something visible. You can't tell whether someone is HIV positive or HIV negative by looking at him.

Youth, good looks or a muscular build can't tell you anything about someone's HIV status or other sexually transmitted infections.



Pulling out: Not coming inside

==> Withdrawing before coming doesn't reduce the risk of infection for the guy who's fucking (see opposite page).

==> The risk of infection for the guy who's being fucked is lower, but without a condom, there is still a risk of infection even without ejaculation.

==> Finally, no one can control coming 100%!

          Pulling out is risky for both partners.



Only topping

Only topping doesn't prevent an HIV infection. The top runs the risk of absorbing HIV and other STI through the tip of his dick. You can still contract HIV from topping.



HIV positive but not contagious?

HIV-positive people with an effective course of antiretroviral therapy don't transmit the virus during sex, but only under 3 conditions:

1. The viral load has been below detectable levels for at least six months.

2. Adherence to HIV therapy and regular check ups by a doctor.

3. There are no other sexually transmitted infections in neither partner (e.g. syphilis).


And to whom does this apply?

==> People in long-term relationships in which one partner is HIV positive and the other is HIV negative.

==> Only in a trusting relationship can a HIV-negative person be certain that the 3 conditions are met.

==> Only then, you can make a mutual decision on whether or not to use condoms with the advice of a doctor.

Condoms should still always be used in new relationships or for casual sex.



What else?

Are there any other ways to reduce the risk of HIV infection without safe sex?

Circumcision: Cut men have a lower risk of getting infected with HIV during sex with women.

It is doubtful whether this is also the case for men who have sex with other men. And if it were true, then it would only be true for cut men who top during fucking.

Circumcision does not protect you from HIV infection nor from contracting any other sexually transmitted infection.

Pills and gels: There are studies underway that are looking at the use of pills (PrEP) and gels (microbicides) which when used before sex are meant to reduce the risk of HIV infection. Currently, there are no products available that protect against HIV infection.

Do not take HIV medications if you are not HIV positive! They will not work, and they could do you a great deal of harm!




Go to www.aids.ch and find the following under ADDRESSES/LINKS

==> The addresses of the nearest AIDS-service organizations

==> The addresses of all PEP clinics and testing centers



safer gay sex, play hard, play safe



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